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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219575">OCD, Seriously?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyoomichan/pseuds/kiyoomichan'>kiyoomichan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BDSM, Control Issues, Depression, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, Light Bondage, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Miya twins hate OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:48:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyoomichan/pseuds/kiyoomichan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post time-skip. Atsumu is in MSBY and Osamu has his own restaurant. Atsumu doesn’t like Sakusa and well he also doesn’t like him. Atsumu has a horrible past from which he always runs away. He doesn't want to face them again. He has heaving anxiety and depression which he manages that no one knows expect him and his doctor.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu &amp; Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Past Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Well a start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Atsumu doesn’t hate cleaning. He just hates cleaning like a maniac. His mother had OCD. his twin and he liked keeping their rooms messy but their mother always scolded them and used to shout at them regarding the teeny tiny mess they make to make themselves comfortable. It’s not like they hated their mother. They loved their mother a lot but they couldn’t stand the cleaning ritual of their mother for much long so when they turned 18, they both moved out. </p><p>Osamu was living with his best friend from the past 4 years. Even though they liked each other they didn’t confess about it. With Suna’s games for EJP Raijin and Osamu’s restaurant work they barely get any time together. (That is a story for another time)</p><p>Atsumu was standing in the gym in Osaka, today was the MSBY tryouts for recruiting new members and honestly he was just tired and wanted to get this over with. For the tryouts there were many candidates and among them he saw some familiar faces. He gave a smile to everyone he knew including Hinata Shoyo and Sakusa Kiyoomi. He didn’t particularly like Sakusa mainly because everyone knew about Sakusa and his love for cleaning. He just wanted to stay away from people like that. Sakusa somewhat reminded him or Kita because his ex high school captain was the same but Atsumu didn’t mind it much because he knew he would never invite Kita over at his place, that would be a nightmare for the twins. </p><p>Sakusa made a face after seeing Atsumu as if he is the most disgusting thing on this planet and frankly Atsumu didn’t give two flying shit about it. He knew even if Sakusa did join the team (which he will of course) he doesn’t have to worry about Sakusa coming over because like Kita he will never invite him. </p><p>Sakusa did get selected and Atsumu decided that he doesn’t need to talk to him other than practice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Keep it to yourself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Atsumu is a jerk but he has his own issues. Suna is confused as hell because Atsumu is generally aware of feelings of his or people around him. He has always been observant about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things are not going as easy as Atsumu thought. Ignoring Sakusa was easy but whenever Sakusa jumped to spike his toss without doing his normal analysis about the toss was making him feel a little special. It sparked something inside the blonde but as always he ignored it. He thought it was something that sparked his ego, nothing more. Sakusa never joined the team bonding and the after parties with the team whenever they won and no one forced him. Atsumu was always with Hinata and Bokuto even though they were both really energetic the blonde could somewhat keep up with them. </p><p>Things started changing after the practice match with Suna’s team after 4 months of Hinata and Sakusa joining the Jackals. The Black Jackals won the match but it wasn’t an easy one. Suna and Atsumu started doing their stretching after the games together, talking about stuff. People don’t know but Suna talks a lot when he is with the twins mainly to shut them both so that they won’t start whining. Everyone believes that Osamu is the quiet twin but hell nah that isn’t true at all. They both are just the same. Poor Suna who has to deal with both of them has mastered how to shut them both when needed. </p><p>“So, Sakusa huh?” Suna started with a smirk on his face.<br/>“What about him?” It was clear with the blonde’s expression that he had no idea what the other was talking about.<br/>“Duh, he is hot and you were like eye fucking him dude?” Suna was shocked about the fact that Atsumu is oblivious about it because Atsumu Miya knows about everyone’s crush. Including his, everytime.<br/>“Uhh.. What? I am not eye fucking him??” Atsumu asked, again with a confused expression. Suna sighed thinking how he can be oblivious about it.<br/>“Dude you guys have this weird sexual tension between you guys? He looks at you like he’ll tie you up fuck ou just to keep your mouth shut.” Atsumu started laughing hearing this.<br/>“Tarou, I am sexually pent up. Maybe he might be also? He is a germaphobe you know? Maybe he is touch starved.” Suna sighed again.<br/>“So? You gonna bang him or what?” Atsumu started laughing again.<br/>“Naah, I am gonna ask Yuuji to come meet me. It’s been a while and last I checked he is still single.” Suna scrunched up his nose hearing about it.<br/>“Why are you guys still just sex buddies? Just get into a relationship already.” Atsumu sighed this time.<br/>“Nah, we are good like this and I don’t want the relationship thing.” <br/>With this the Sakusa topic was done and they went to the showers and bid farewell to each other. They knew they would see each other soon as Atsumu will be visiting him and his twin soon.</p><p>The black jackals were seated in the bus in which they had to go back to Osaka. The match was in Tokyo which is the same distance for both of the teams. The black jackals will be moving to Tokyo in a month or two as it was easy to commute for games from there. </p><p>Atsumu was the last one to enter the bus as he was talking to Suna. When he entered the bus he saw the only seat vacant was besides Sakusa and mostly everyone else started dozing off. He sighed and realised that he doesn’t have any choice but to sit next to the guy who he deliberately ignored after practises. He reached to the vacant seat and smirked at Sakusa who wore a disgusted expression as if the blonde was a trash bin who was going to sit beside him.</p><p>“Hey Omi-omi~ Guess you are stuck with me huh?” Atsumu grinned at the expressions the ravenette made. He always enjoyed pushing past their limits just to see what makes them tick.<br/>“Shut up. You better sit at the corner and do not touch me.” Sakusa said in a serious tone to which the blond shook his head and let out a small laugh.<br/>“Well, I am gonna sit like I want. If you have any problem with that then keep it to yourself because I honestly can’t bring myself to care.” Sakusa looked at him as if he already planned his murder and was waiting for the right time. <br/>Atsumu ignored him and plugged his earphones and closed his eyes. Shutting out everything and replaying the match in his head to remember things which he had to improve for the next match. He did not notice the glare Sakusa was giving him, he was too into his mind and music that he didn’t care about the world outside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, I have planned on putting some smut on the next chapter :)</p><p>~Joe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Truth and Dare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Atsumu is a really frustrated sexually and Meian decided it would be good time for 'team bonding' to which everyone was forced to attend, even Sakusa.<br/>Everyone met in Bokuto's dorm and everyone started getting drunk. Poor Terushima was feeling extremely uncomfortable with everything Sakusa doing but kept his mouth shut.<br/>They decided to play truth and game and things went downhill. Everyone knew that Atsumu’s dares are dangerous like really dangerous which ended someone or the other having sex by the end of the night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saying Atsumu is frustrated is an understatement. They have to live in the dorms for the weekend because Meian decided it’s the team bonding weekend. Atsumu has an apartment outside the dorms which he owns but he stays at the dorms before matches like every other member of the team but this weekend he had plans with Terushima because yes he was sexually frustrated. Sakusa is also there and on their floor it’s only Sakusa and Atsumu. They are on the third floor of the building. Atsumu asks Meian if he can invite someone else because his ‘friend’ was crashing with him for the weekend and Meian agrees.</p><p>They were in Bokuto’s room because apparently he has the biggest room in the dorm. When Atsumu reaches Bokuto’s room with Terushima, Hinata jumps on Terushima saying ‘it’s been so long’, ‘I haven’t seen you in years’, ‘let’s play together soon’, ‘you still play right’ etc etc. Bokuto is also invested in the conversation. Atsumu introduces everyone to Terushima and everyone starts flooding him with questions. It was after 10 mins there was a knock indicating someone was here. Atsumu went to open the door as everyone was getting to know Terushima. He opened the door and saw Sakusa standing there.</p><p>“What a pleasant surprise Omi-Kun! I didn’t expect you to join us mortals today” He did a dramatic bow and welcomed Sakusa to the apartment. He heard an annoyed ‘Tsk’ in return and he entered the apartment. Atsumu followed behind, laughing, he introduced Terushima to Sakusa and they exchanged nods. Sakusa went to sit at the corner of the room.<br/>
Bokuto bought alcohol and a lot of movies for the team bonding. They watched ‘Annabelle’ and ‘The Conjuring’ with a couple of beers. After the movies they decided to play truth or dare to which everyone agreed. Though Atsumu could see that people were already tipsy and he started laughing. Meian was the one who asked him why he was laughing.<br/>
“Y’all will get wasted soon, not you though Meian-san, your alcohol tolerance is better than mine” Meian smirked and everyone started whining or yelling how it was not true. Terushima was quiet which was rare and it started bothering Atsumu. He asked him what’s wrong but he won’t tell him.</p><p>
  <b>Terushima’s POV</b>
</p><p><i>Why is that Sakusa guy looking at me like he is planning my murder? I feel so damn uneasy. Throughout the movie I could feel him watching my every move. Atsumu and I were cuddling but Sakusa’s stare was making me uncomfortable. When I said Atsumu to stop cuddling cause I didn’t want a boner right now and we separated then I didn’t feel the stare anymore. Does he like Atsumu? Does Atsumu know about it? No if he did he would say it openly. Right?</i> </p><p>Atsumu asked what happened to me cause I was quiet and I could feel the stare again. I told him not to worry about it and I was trying not to get drunk. He said he understands and left it alone. God his alcohol tolerance scares me. We decided to play spin the bottle and instead of kissing they will ask truth and dare questions.</p><p>After a few rounds Atsumu spinned the bottle and it landed on Sakusa.</p><p>
  <b>Back to 3rd person Pov</b>
</p><p>Atsumu spinned the bottle and it landed on Sakusa, he had his shit grin on his face and he could see almost everyone except Bokuto, Meian and himself drunk. Sakusa was also drunk by the looks of it cause he removed his jacket saying ‘it’s fucking getting hot in here’ and everyone was surprised to see Sakusa getting drunk. It was almost 12 am and Atsumu knew that the rest won’t last for another hour. Most of the people were already sitting in pairs. Inunaki and Thomas were cuddling while Barnes was basically sitting on Meian’s lap. Hinata was on Bokuto’s shoulder and whining about Kageyama and Terushima was trying hard to not lean on Atsumu. Sakusa was sitting alone looking at everyone now the bottle pointed to him. He had a challenging look in his eyes towards Atsumu and the blonde was smirking.</p><p>“Omi-Omi looks like you are unlucky.” Sakusa scoffed.<br/>
“Just get on with it. Truth.” Atsumu’s grin widened at this.<br/>
“Who amongst us would you make-out with right now?” Sakusa looked at him like now would be a good time to kill him.<br/>
“I am not answering that.” Sakusa’s cheeks tinted the lightest shade of pink which was not easily seen.<br/>
“Aww Omi-Omi you have to answer or you have to do a dare.” Sakusa doesn’t know what got into him. He chugged down his beer and looked at Atsumu.<br/>
“I’ll do your stupid dare rather than answering that.” a round of hoots and howls passed by seeing Sakusa challenging the blonde. Everyone knew that Atsumu’s dares are dangerous like really dangerous which ended someone or the other having sex by the end of the night.<br/>
“Omi you cannot go back to the truth once I tell you your dare. Are you sure?” Atsumu’s voice had a challenge in them and Sakusa is no one to refuse a challenge. Well let’s say the alcohol played a major role in that.<br/>
“I won’t back out. Gimme your stupid dare.” Atsumu had a triumphant smile on his face.<br/>
“Well then Omi-kun. Make out with anyone in this room.” Everyone was silent, everyone could feel the tension in the room. Terushima was really uncomfortable and it was visible to everyone. Inunaki and Thomas were holding each other anticipating the next move while Meian and Barnes were looking at Atsumu and Sakusa back and forth. Hinata and Bokuto were giggling and Atsumu had his shit grin on his face. Sakusa looked pale for a moment, he realized what he had done and he didn’t want to do the dare but he didn’t want Atsumu to have his victory like that.<br/>
“I won’t make out. I don’t know how much germs you guys have. I will just give a peck.”<br/>
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable Omi. but you gotta do it. If it was someone else I would have forced them to make out. But since it’s you I am happy to be the good person and let you off the hook.” Atsumu smirked.<br/>
Sakusa stood up and went between the circle. He let out a deep breath “This doesn’t mean anything. It’s for this stupid game and nothing else.” Everyone agreed but they were eager to know who Sakusa would kiss.<br/>
Sakusa went towards Atsumu and all the colour of Atsumu’s face went pale. He didn’t expect this. Sakusa sat in front of him on the floor and gave him a quick peck and went and sat on his chair. Everyone went silent. Bokuto was the one to break the silence.<br/>
“WHHHAAATTTTT???” Hinata also screamed accompanied by everyone else. Except Terushima and Atsumu. Atsumu was still in shock of what happened and Terushima was fuming. He was so angry at Sakusa because he was smirking looking at Terushima. They both didn’t break their eye contact for a long time until Atsumu let out a squeak.<br/>
“Geez Omi, warn a guy next time won’t ya?” Atsumu was blushing. It wasn't noticeable to everyone but Terushima saw it and it didn’t help with his anger.<br/>
Terushima knew whatever between Atsumu and him was strictly sexual but that didn’t mean he didn’t get jealous. Atsumu saw Terushima’s expression and held him close and kissed his cheeks again and again. Everyone went quiet again. Now Terushima was the one smirking and Sakusa was fuming with anger.<br/>
“Uhh, Tsum-Tsum? Are you and Terushima dating?” Bokuto asked after a long silence because it was getting awkward around everyone.<br/>
“Naah, not now but Yuuji gets jealous when someone else comes close to me.” Atsumu was kissing Terushima’s neck and Terushima was beet red by now.<br/>
There was a knock on the door and Hinata rushed to open the door because he wasn’t sure what’s going on. Akaashi made his way to the door and sensed the awkward environment and decided to divert the attention to himself. He greeted everyone and gave everyone Onigiri which was from Onigiri Miya. Everyone seems to forget about the incident. Well everyone except Sakusa, Atsumu and Terushima. They all drank a bit more by then Barnes was climbing on Meian and Thomas was almost all over Inunaki. Terushima got drunk and he started kissing Atsumu whenever he got the chance. Bokuto was clinging to Akaashi and Hinata was on a call with Kageyama. Sakusa was visibly angry and uncomfortable looking at Atsumu and Terushima. He made eye contact with Akaashi and Akaashi gave him a sympathetic look which he chose to ignore.<br/>
“I guess Yuuji had too much to drink. We better get going. It’s 1 am already.” Atsumu said and was supporting Terushima to walk properly. One by one everyone left and the ones left in Bokuto’s apartment were Sakusa, Hinata, Akaashi and Bokuto. Bokuto went to Hinata to talk to Kageyama, leaving Akaashi and Sakusa alone. Akaashi was looking at Sakusa and contemplating what to say.<br/>
“Akaashi-kun just say it. I can see you wanted to ask me.” Akaashi gave a small smile in return.<br/>
“You like him.” Just a small sentence, not mentioning who or what.<br/>
“I don’t. I just feel uncomfortable with the PDA and I know I will hear their sounds throughout the night.<br/>
“You sure about it?” Akaashi’s gaze was heavy on him, daring Sakusa to lie to lie to him.<br/>
“I am sure about it. I hate anything affecting my sleep and trust me two loud blondes are too much to handle being a neighbour.” Sakusa had a disgusting expression on his face and Akaashi let out a laugh.<br/>
“I feel bad for you Sakusa-san.” Sakusa looked at him and he knew he wasn’t feeling bad for him.<br/>
“Besides, I am with Wakatoshi-kun. I don’t think anyone would meet his standards.” Akaashi gave an apologetic smile to Sakusa.<br/>
“Sakusa-san, you know that Ushijima-san and you are just like Atsumu and Yuuji-kun? Ushijima-san has his heart set for Satori.” Sakusa looked at Akaashi with a shocked expression.<br/>
“How do you know about this?” Sakusa couldn’t help but ask this.<br/>
“Satori, the twins, Hajime, Kei and I have been friends for a long time. I know a lot of stuff regarding Ushijima-san’s life because we talk about Satori a lot.” Sakusa but his inner cheeks and nodded.<br/>
“Thank you for telling me. I had my suspicions but couldn’t confirm it.” Akaashi smiled and took a sip from his beer.<br/>
“It’s nothing. I am sure he would have explained it to you sooner because within 3 months Satori is coming back from California. He will be with Ushijima-san from then.” Sakusa was thinking about all this.<br/>
“Thank you again. I will leave now. I need some sleep. Goodnight Akaashi-kun. Tell Bokuto-san and Hinata-kun that I left.” Akaashi nodded and Sakusa made his way back to his dorm room..</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I will be posting smut scene in the next chapter. I have't completed it yet that's the reason it isn't in this chapter.</p><p>~Joe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sorry, not sorry for the moans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Atsumu and Terushima has rough sex by the end of it Terushima cannot stand properly. </p><p>Sakusa cannot sleep because his neighbours decided to have loud sex in the middle of the night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Atsumu and Terushima made their way to Atsumu’s dorm. Terushima was clinging on Atsumu and the twin wasn’t gonna entertain this very long. The moment they entered his apartment Atsumu asked the other to go and take a bath so that he could sober up a bit. “Daddy~ join me won’t you? We can have fun there~” Atsumu let out a sigh and agreed. Terushima made his way to the washroom while stripping down his clothes along the way.</p><p>This itched something in Atsumu which he always tried to suppress everywhere but maybe the alcohol was doing it’s job, he collected all the clothes and put it in the laundry basket, then he stripped down his own clothes and put it in there. He entered the washroom and saw Terushima was washing himself, Atsumu’s eye showed only lust then and there seeing the tattoos and the nipple piercings the blonde had was driving him crazy. He knew Terushima rarely bottomed for anyone and he is one of the lucky ones to get him to submit under them. He stood under the shower and let the water run along his body. He was slightly tipsy and he could feel that now, he started washing himself and he saw Terushima was almost done with his shower. He tried to ignore the blonde beside him cause he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of doing it in the shower.</p><p>Terushima waited till Atsumu washed himself. He was very well aware that Atsumu hated doing it in the shower but after the stunt Sakusa pulled Terushima was gonna ignore everything. He just wanted the twin’s attention on him. When Atsumu was done with his shower Terushima snaked his arms from behind and pressed his chest to Atsumu’s back and started placing open mouth kisses on the taller boy's shoulder. Atsumu leaned into the touch because yes he was starving for some kind of affection and Terushima was giving him that. He turned around and held Terushima’s wrist above his head when he felt the tongue piercing going up from his neck to earlobe. He kissed and sucked Terushima’s neck and left it with a ‘pop’ sound, he was admiring his work seeing how it was a dark shade of red already.</p><p>He looked up and saw Terushima’s hungry expression and went down on his neck once again and made his way to his chest leaving trails of hickeys. Terushima arched his chest towards Atsumu;s mouth, it was a warm feeling and Terushima started moaning and whimpering just by this. Atsumu reached towards the right nipple and he let go of Terushima’s left hand and used his right hand to play with Terushima’s other nipple. It was too much pleasure for Terushima and started moaning loudly, Atsumu didn’t care about the sounds because he knew everyone would expect this tonight but he didn’t want anyone to complain about it in the morning “Shut yer trap ya filthy whore. Did I say ya could make any noises?” and Terushima whimpered even more hearing Atsumu’s rough voice, it only happens when Atsumu is really frustrated and Terushima knows better to shut himself and just listen to command. Atsumu played, sucked and bit both his nipples and Terushima used his left hand to cover his mouth so that the voice won’t be loud.</p><p>He turned Terushima around and pressed his dick against his ass. Atsumu’s chest pressed against Terushima’s back, Atsumu held 3 fingers to Terushima’s mouth and said suck, Terushima started sucking his fingers. Atsumu ran his fingers down the other’s spine and spanked Terushima’s ass to which Terushima moaned with the fingers inside his mouth. Atsumu pulled out his fingers when he felt they were wet enough. He teased Terushima’s entrance a bit and slid one finger in. When he didn’t feel any resistance he knew the other has prepped his ass “Didjya touch yersel’ before coming here?” Terushima didn’t look at him, he looked down and nodded. “Good boy~ So ya know that tomorrow ya might not be able to walk right~” Terushima felt a shiver down his spine and nodded in return. Atsumu inserted another finger in Terushima and he started scissoring him. Terushima wanted to moan out loudly but he knew he couldn’t do it. Atsumu added another finger and after a few seconds he rubbed against Terushima’s prostate, at the moment Terushima couldn’t help the moan which left his mouth.</p><p>Atsumu stopped fingering him and Terushima thought it’s because he moaned loudly but the fingers were replaced by Atsumu’s dick which the other slammed inside Terushima in one go. Terushima whimpered and moaned loudly, his grip around the glass door of the shower tightened, he knew he was gone for tonight. Atsumu has warned him about his mood and his wants during sex. He knew he could just say ‘Red’ and Atsumu would stop, but he was feeling immense pleasure. He knew whatever happens in this shower was just a trailer to what Atsumu has planned. Atsumu already made it clear that regardless of the place Terushima won’t be able to walk the next morning because he won’t stop until either he is satisfied or Terushima doesn’t quit and Terushima desperately didn’t want to quit.</p><p>Atsumu didn’t move till Terushima gave him a nod. The first few thrusts were slow but then Atsumu increased the speed all of sudden and without any mercy pounded on Terushima’s ass. He had his left hand on Terushima’s mouth to shut his moans getting louder and the other hand holding Terushima in place because Terushima was close to falling down on the ground. Terushima was a mess by now, he was drooling and his knees were giving out. He forgot how rough Atsumu can be, how ruthless Atsumu can be sometimes and he was so close to him release, “daddy I’m- I’m close” Terushima’s voice was muffled, Atsumu let his hands go down on his neck and pulled Terushima close to him “What didja say slut? I couldn’t hear ya~” Terushima shivered and started whimpering, Atsumu suddenly stopped and tightened his hand around Terushima’s neck “I asked you a question, answer me whore.” Terushima gulped “daddy, I’m close, please can I come? Please daddy” Terushima cooed, even though his voice was low and hoarse because the grip around his neck he answered because he didn’t want Atsumu to stop. “Beg a little more~ Ya sound good begging~ Ya know that right~” Terushima nodded “Daddy please let me come~ Please I have been a good boy~ Please~” Atsumu smirked, he always liked when Terushima begged, it was something which sounded beautiful to his ears. He pounded on Terushima’s ass till they both came. Atsumu cleaned them both and picked Terushima up and laid him on the bed. They went on a few more rounds till the point Terushima said the safe word and Atsumu cleaned them both and the bed. He looked at his phone and saw it’s already 4:43 am.</p><p>Atsumu decided to let Terushima rest for a while, he covered him with sheets and wore a bathrobe and went to his balcony with a pack of cigarettes. He sat on the chair which was in this balcony and lifted his leg so that he could rest it on the wall and lit a cigarette. He didn’t look at the balcony to his right because he thought everyone was asleep and since it’s a sunday and there is no practice no one is going out for a run before 8 am. He almost let out a scream when he heard a deep voice from his right balcony “Don’t you and your partner know that people usually try to sleep at night?” Atsumu looked like he saw a ghost and Sakusa had one of his old disgusted expressions on his face like Atsumu is a walking trash bag. “Geez Omi-kun, way to kill someone by scaring the shit out of them.”</p><p>Sakusa gave him an unamused expression “Sorry sorry, I thought ya guys would either have passed out or had some action of yer own.” Sakusa didn’t say anything for sometime and studied Atsumu who was sitting properly on the chair while smoking his cigarette. “You know for a professional athlete smoking is bad for his health.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement from Sakusa to which Atsumu laughs, “I know Omi, I only smoke on my day offs though. Hafta make ya monsters jump on my tunes.” Sakusa scrunches his nose a little, they don’t say anything after that. They sit in complete silence till Sakusa’s morning alarm went off, Atsumu decided now to question Sakusa “Why were ya awake honestly?”</p><p>Sakusa looks at Atsumu, contemplating whether to tell the blonde the reason or not, he knows Akaashi will tell him knowing Akaashi told him that they are close friends. “Wakatoshi-kun and your partner moans really loud.” Atsumu laughed really loud at this, Sakusa was confused not knowing to which fact Atsumu was laughing more? Is it about Ushiwaka or the moans? Deciding against his better judgement about not to talk to the blonde further, he still asks him “Why are you laughing so much? At which fact are you laughing?” Atsumu was holding his stomach which hurt because he was laughing so much “I am gonna be honest with ya, both. One sorry, not sorry for the moans, I tried to silence him but he was pretty mad at ya for kissing me, which we would talk about later when I don’t have someone on my bed. Two, I am sorry about Wakatoshi, I knew about it but I assumed he would have cleared things with ya. When I asked him he said he did in fact clear things up and ya took yer sweet time and then again came back to him and now yer sitting here in yer balcony thinking about him.”</p><p>Sakusa looked like he wanted to punch Atsumu till he died but settled on a loud grunt and walked back inside his room. Atsumu let out a heavy sigh and shaked his head. <em>Well I could’ve been more sensitive towards him but nah, my emotionally constipated self decided to laugh at his face. Great going dickhead. Now I can say goodbye to my sweet sleep.</em> Atsumu couldn’t sleep, he was thinking about how hurt Sakusa looked regarding Ushiwaka, he knows that expression, he has worn that expression far too many times for one person.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know if I should post Sakusa's Pov or not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Atsumu's struggle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Atsumu cleans his entire place when he is stressed. That's the way he deals with nagging thought about things.<br/>Kita is a dick.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s been a month since Terushima came by the black jackals dorm, a month since Sakusa and Atsumu talked about Ushiwaka and it’s almost time for the MSBY team to shit to Tokyo for their new place. They all packed their stuff and met at the lobby. They all sat at their seats, Atsumu being the last to enter as always because he had to call his twin to update him about their trip. Osamu has planned on opening a new branch of Onigiri Miya in Tokyo and Atsumu couldn’t help but get excited as now he will be there in Tokyo to help his twin with the new shop. Sakusa had the misfortune of sitting with Atsumu again as he was the only one without a seat partner when Atsumu entered. They did not talk throughout the ride. Everyone fell asleep as it was still early for them to wake up and there is nothing they could do during the bus ride. </p><p> </p><p>When they reached Tokyo after their 6½ hour bus ride everyone was excited to see the new place where they would settle in. they were told the dorms are more spacious than the previous ones so they were told to live in the dorm rather than getting an apartment for themselves for the starting 6 months. By what gods they don’t know when Meian distributed the keys Sakusa and Atsumu were sharing the same floor again. They were at the top floor again. They were neighbours again. Sakusa wanted to run away and Atsumu decided again he didn’t care. Meian told everyone to settle down and everyone would be meeting at Meian’s dorm by 7pm for ‘team bonding dinner’. Meian told Sakusa that he cannot skip it and told Atsumu to ask his brother to join them if he can.</p><p> </p><p>They went to their respective rooms and Sakusa realized that the walls weren't thin like their previous dorms so he relaxed and settled down his bags and started cleaning like he always does. In the other room Atsumu was spiralling, he didn’t like the way the dorm was, there was far too much dust and something in him was tugging him to forget everything and clean the entire place before he even thinks about eating. He hated this, even though it was his mother who had OCD it would be a lie if he said the twins didn’t have some kind of OCD. Atsumu wanted his dorm clean but he was out of cleaning supplies and he was freaking out. He was freaking out so much that he started pulling his hair and he decided to call his twin before he goes bald.</p><p>“What do ya want?” his twin asked on the call, clearly irritated that Atsumu has called him for the 10th time today.</p><p>“Samu it’s dirty, there is dirt all over and I am out of cleaning supplies and I want to rip my head off, it’s been 2 hours I am standing in the living room. I can’t do anything.” he was on the verge of a mental breakdown and his twin panicked a bit. He knew how agitated Atsumu gets sometimes.</p><p>“Go out and buy some then.” his twin said, trying to stay calm.</p><p>“I can’t, I don’t know the place. Get me some… Please.” Osamu knew he had to say something before Atsumu spiralled down his thoughts more.</p><p>“Ask yer Omi-kun.” At this Atsumu shut down completely because one, he didn’t want to talk to Sakusa after that balcony talk unnecessarily and second he didn’t want to go before Sakusa asking him to help him with cleaning.</p><p>“No.” Osamu sighed. “Sumu either go and ask him or wait till 7pm when Rin and I come with food and your cleaning supplies.” Atsumu cursed him and cut the call.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu went out of his dorm room with his bags around his shoulder because he refused to keep his bags down on the dirty floor. He went to the next door and decided this might be the last time he asked for help from the black haired guy and just decided to do it. He knocked twice and waited. He knocked twice again and waited again. Sakusa opened the door, he was wearing a makeshift hazmat suit and he was holding a scrub in his right hand. Atsumu started fidgeting with his fingers showing how uncomfortable he was and how he is trying hard to keep his nerves calm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sakusa’s Pov</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I heard someone knock on my door two times. I thought if I don’t answer they’ll go away but after sometime they knocked twice again so I decided to go and open the door. I saw Miya standing outside my door with his bags in hand. <em>It’s been 2 hours since we have been here, was he roaming around with his bag on him without keeping it in his room? Why the hell is he fidgeting? Wait, why do I care? It’s not like we are friends or something.</em> It was awkward as none of us said anything and Miya was clearly not okay.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want?” Well that came out really rude and he flinched, <em>God why on earth did he flinch? He never did before?</em></p><p>“Ummm.. Omi- Umm.. Omi are ya done with cleaning your room?” <em>Did he just stutter?</em></p><p>“Why?” I was confused. <em>Why was he asking about whether I cleaned or not?</em></p><p>“If.. If you are done could ya.. Would ya lend me yer cleaning supplies? I’ll pay ya back.. I’ll buy you more when I am gonna buy fer m’self” </p><p>“I’m sorry what?” I was thinking that I didn’t mean to say it out loud.</p><p>“I was saying could ya-”</p><p>“I heard what you said. Why do you need it? And why are you carrying your bags around?” Just looking at him made my shoulders pain.</p><p>“My room is dirty. I need to clean them before I keep my bag in that room.” I was confused as hell but who am I to judge him? <em>I just scrubbed my place 3 times.</em></p><p>“Okay.” His eyes lit up. <em>What was… ugh let’s just ignore this and get on with it.</em></p><p>“Thanks Omi-Omi. I knew ya didn’t hate me!” wow back to his annoying self.</p><p>“I didn’t say that. I know you’ll pester me till I don’t give them to you and I don’t have the energy to deal with your antics.” He had a wide grin on his face and I seriously want to punch him now.</p><p> </p><p>I went inside and got my cleaning supplies, I was surprised that he didn’t barge in while I went inside. I gave him all that he needed but he still didn’t leave, it looks like he wants something else as well.</p><p>“What now?” Again I sounded really annoyed.</p><p>“Omi can ya keep my bags with ya till I clean my dorm?” It was odd, <em>why can’t he just keep them somewhere in his dorm till he cleans?</em></p><p>“Why?” Now I was annoyed. </p><p>“I don’t want them to get dirty Omi-kun. I promise I won’t take long.” I can’t believe him.</p><p>“Okay, now go. I don’t want to see your face.” He gave me his bags and rushed to his room taking my cleaning supplies with him. I waited till his door was locked but he didn’t. I decided it’s not worth my time to see what he's up to, it’s already 2pm and I should start to unpack now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Atsumu's POV</b>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Thank God he gave them without a lot of questions. Now I need to start cleaning.</em> I started cleaning the dorm by 2:10pm. I scrubbed and dusted and mopped the place approximately 3 times and I checked the time it was already 4:15pm. But I have to do it one more time. I don't like doing things in odd numbers. It frustrates me. I try to do everything in even numbers to stay calm. I started cleaning again. There is no reason to clean this place up more than once. It was clean after the first time I cleaned it but I have a lot on my mind right now. I just wanted to clean so that I can distract myself and not think about it. I can't just sit and spiral down in my thoughts. I started cleaning again starting with my bedroom, living room, kitchen, balcony then lastly bathroom. I didn't realize what time it was and the fact that my main door was open after cleaning the bathroom. My fingers were itching and bleeding with all the scrubbing I did. I just wanted to take a bath, I was standing in my living room facing my kitchen when I heard something fall. I turned around to see Sakusa standing in my living room with my luggage and he dropped my bag, he had a shocked expression on his face. Well, I realize that he might not be expecting someone like me to clean up my place like this. </p><p> </p><p>"What happened Omi-kun?" He's still in shock and turned to look at me properly (he was staring at my dorm)</p><p>"You cleaned this place?" He asked and I nodded. </p><p>"You didn't hire anyone to do it?" My eyebrows furrowed but then again I nodded. </p><p>"How many times did you clean?" Now that I don't know how to answer, <em>should I tell him the truth? Should I lie?</em> I decided it's no use to lie so I held up 4 fingers and he had a confused expression on his face. </p><p>"Is there any disinfectant or the rest of the cleaning supplies left?" Shit, I forgot that they weren't mine and I basically used it all. I shook my head and I saw his expression going from confused to angry then he looked at me from top to bottom and then his experience softened for a second before turning into disgust and back to anger. <em>Well I had a good run, Osamu wanted to be a single child now he would get that chance, the Black jackals would get a new setter maybe Hinata can convince Kageyama to join the team. Now I don't have to live with the fact that I am one of my ex's victi-</em></p><p>"Why are you quiet? You always have something to say and why haven't you showered yet? You owe me a lot of cleaning supplies-"</p><p>"Woah there Omi-kun, yes I owe ya cleaning supplies. Don'tcha worry I'll go and get yer things tomorrow. Gimme the list 'kay? I would have showered but I needed to clean first, now that ya bought my stuff I'll go shower. Ya don't needta worry about me Omi. Now ya can go I'm fine ya see?"</p><p>Sakusa looked at me as if I'm a maths question that needed to be solved which honestly pissed me off. I hate anyone entering my place when I just cleaned. </p><p>"I'm not worried. It's 5pm and you did not come to pick up your stuff and we have to go down by 7. I thought you slept but when I came and saw your door was open I decided to come drop off the bags. But I didn't expect to see this." Sakusa gestured his hands towards my living room and I was really tired of saying anything. I need a power nap before I go down so I ignored his comment and went to pick up my bags from the floor. When he was about to leave I remembered that if I sleep and Samu comes he would probably break down my door. </p><p>"Omi can ya do me one more favor?" Sakusa's face turned into a scowl and then back to the bored expression which he always had. </p><p>"What do you want now?" <em>Does God hate me so much to give him as my teammate and neighbor?</em> I took out my spare key and held it's tip and gestured to him to take it. He didn't take it of course. </p><p>"I'll probably take a power nap. When Samu comes I don't want him to break my door down, could ya give it to him so that he enters my dorm like a human being?" He took the key reluctantly and nodded. He turned around to leave but didn't still comment on me before leaving. </p><p>"He's more of a human than you are. I don't see why you would say that about the better twin"</p><p>"Fuck off Omi" With that I locked my door, showered and went to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>I woke up after some time with Osamu shaking me up. I looked at him annoyed, he gave me a cup of coffee and an onigiri because he knew I’ll be grumpy otherwise. After I ate and drank the coffee I noticed Samu was staring at me. I sighed knowing he’ll ask me what’s wrong.</p><p>“I bought you your cleaning supplies.” I hummed in response.</p><p>“Suna is at yer Captain’s dorm along with everyone.” I hummed again.</p><p>“Yer Omi-kun gave me yer key to the dorm and asked me if ya were in yer right mind or not.” I ignored that part and searched for my phone.</p><p>“When I entered the apartment I realized what he meant.” Samu narrowed his eyes at me cause I didn’t give him a response and blankly stared at him.</p><p>“Okay what the hell happened?” I just sighed not wanting to tell him.</p><p>“Either ya tell me now or I beat the everloving shit out of ya.” <em>Well now he is frustrated.</em></p><p>“Kita happened.” Samu’s expression turned to a shock one.</p><p>“He wanted to get back with me. He thought the time was right and we can put the past in the past. That bastard.” I didn’t have to look at Samu to know he was fuming in anger.</p><p>“I’ll beat that bastard up.” I just sighed again.</p><p>“I don’t even know why I got so worked up about it.” Samu nodded for me to continue.</p><p>“I don’t really care about what happened in the past. But I know that I am weak in front of him whether I like it or not.” Samu looked like now he’s gonna kill me. <em>God someone help me.</em></p><p>“Yer not weak. He was a dick. He was in the past. How the fuck did he get out of jail so early and how the hell did he get yer number?” I really didn’t know about how I just knew that it would haunt me for sure.</p><p>“I don’t know. It’s fun to have an ex who is in jail for a rape case.” I let out a forced chuckle.</p><p>“Sumu, he ain’t gonna come here. These dorms are safe. Ya know that right? I will try to find him and get a restraining order.” I nodded.</p><p>“Let’s get yer fingers tapped ‘cause I can see ya bleached the hell out of this apartment. Then we’ll go downstairs. ‘Kay?” I nodded and tapped my fingers and went down with him. <em>I hope he is right and Kita doesn’t enter my life again.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. What am I doing?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The msby team again had a team bonding and this time they chose to play seven minutes in heaven. Things go all stupid.<br/>Atsumu and Sakusa start an arrangement that benefits both of them but will it really go according to the way they want?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I will be starting Osasuna for the next two chapters. SakuAtsu has started their ship on a different path but I wanted Osasuna to also be shown side by side. This fic revolves around the twins and their problems regarding certain things &lt;3</p><p>I wanted to thank you guys for reading this ^_^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dinner was not eventful like the previous get together. They all avoided playing truth and dare but they were drinking. The twins, Suna, Bokuto, and Akaashi were at the corner discussing Kita and the rest of the players were either talking about their families or volleyball. Sakusa was sitting beside Tomas, they were discussing volleyball in general. Sakusa was keeping an eye on the group in the corner who was discussing something serious. The atmosphere there was quite intense. The cheerful Bokuto was also quiet and he was showing anger. It confused him because he never saw Bokuto angry like ever. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Atsumu’s group) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu explained to the group about how Kita contacted him and wants to get back together and how he was apologizing about his past mistakes and everything. Everyone stayed quiet and listened to him but it was visible how angry they were hearing about it. After Atsumu told everyone everything, everyone stayed silent, Akaashi was the first one to break the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“If that asshole comes anywhere near you I will make sure he can’t walk again.” Everyone agreed with him.</p><p>“Guys, chill. I blocked him. I just got worked up after receiving a message from him. That’s all.” Atsumu said and let out a tired sigh. All that cleaning and stress was taking a toll on him. He was just tired now.</p><p>“I will help you file a restraining order. I will talk to Hajime. He knows people who can get you one soon.” Osamu said and held Atsumu’s shoulder to assure him that he isn’t alone.</p><p>“Don’t go drinking alone or anywhere alone Tsum-Tsum. I will come with you or I will make sure anyone from the team is always there with you when you go out.” It was Bokuto who suggested it and everyone was shocked, even Akaashi was shocked after hearing him. Bokuto was the only one among the group present who didn’t know what happened between Atsumu and Kita. He just knew that Kita was Atsumu’s crazy ex. Nothing else, he just knew he had to protect his boyfriend's best friend. Everyone agreed with Bokuto’s plan and Atsumu reluctantly agreed, not having the energy to fight back at all because honestly he just wanted to get drunk and go to sleep after that. When the group started talking about other stuff, the environment around them changed into something more approachable. Hinata, the ball of sunshine bounced towards them and asked them to join others. They all agreed. </p><p> </p><p>“So what are we gonna do now that everyone is officially done with their discussions?” Inunaki asked, eyeing the group who went to the far end of the room when they entered so that they could discuss Atsumu and his problem. They all rolled their eyes in response.</p><p>“How about seven minutes in heaven?” Hinata asked his words slurry due to the alcohol consumed.</p><p>“Hinata-Kun, no offense but you are drunk for seven minutes in heaven,” Meian said and everyone started laughing.</p><p> </p><p>It was 8 pm and someone knocked on the door. Hinata jumped up from his seat shouting “MORE FOOD” and went to open the door. Minutes after Kageyama walked in with a koala Hinata attached to his hip and he had food and beer in his hands. The twins got up and took the beer and the food from him and settled at their seats. In the end, they started playing ‘seven minutes in heaven’. Everyone was cuddling with their partners. Atsumu and Sakusa being the only one sitting separately because they didn’t have any significant other. Inunaki spun the bottle and it landed on Akaashi, they went to the closet and Osamu locked them from outside and set the timer. Bokuto went to emo mode as everyone started teasing him regarding Akaashi being alone with someone else. Bokuto turned to Atsumu for support and the fake blonde felt pity towards him so he reassured him that nothing would happen and the others were only teasing him. After seven minutes Osamu opened the door to see Akaashi and Inunaki talking about the new chapter of a shoujo manga Akaashi is working on. Then it was Meian and Barnes and it was expected to find them in an awkward position so Hinata didn’t open the door himself and asked them to come outside. Meian and Barnes came out after a minute with swollen lips and messed up hair and clothes. Everyone made fun of them but it eventually died down. Then pairs were Bokuto-Kageyama, Hinata-Tomas, Osamu-Suna, Akaashi-Osamu then it was Atsumu’s turn and he was trying hard to convince others that he didn’t want to do this but everyone forced him to do it. Atsumu spun the bottle and it landed on Sakusa and everyone went silent again. Everyone remembered the night at Osaka where Sakusa willingly pecked Atsumu’s lips. Atsumu cursed under his breath and looked at Sakusa who had an expression which can be defined only as ‘disgust’. </p><p> </p><p>“Well Omi, I guess ya have the pleasure’ of bein’ with me.” Atsumu faked a smile. The people who knew him well (Osamu, Suna, and Akaashi) saw through it, let out a sigh, and shook their heads. The others were waiting patiently to get a reaction from Sakusa. </p><p>“Alright.” Once again everyone was shocked. No one knew why Sakusa agreed to do stuff with Atsumu even though he shows only disgust towards him <em>(that’s a lie, everyone is betting when Atsumu will understand the black-haired spiker’s crush on him).</em></p><p>Atsumu was also shocked but he quickly covered it with his fox-like grin. “C’mon Omi. We only have seven minutes in heaven.” He winked at him earning a kick on his back from his brother.</p><p> </p><p>Once Sakusa and Atsumu went inside the closet everyone started making their bet.</p><p>“I bet Sakusa will kill him or punch him before he comes out,” Meian said.</p><p>“Nuh-huh, Atsumu will kill him because of his blunt remarks.” Barnes chipped in.</p><p>“I think they will talk about their feelings out?” Hinata sounded unsure about his sentence and shivered.</p><p>“I think they will fuck.” Inunaki said and everyone looked at him and laughed. “C’mon guys the sexual tension between them is too much, they should just fuck and get together.”</p><p>“I don’t think Tsumu will do that with someone like Sakusa,” Akaashi said seriously.</p><p>“Yeah. Even I can see the sexual tension but Tsumu will not do that with someone like Sakusa.” Suna said with the same seriousness.</p><p>“Even if they did it will be a one-time thing and I’m sure my idiot twin will just curse at Sakusa for being all clean and shit.” Osamu agreed.</p><p>“I hope Sakusa isn’t serious with his crush on Tsum-Tsum.” Everyone turned to Bokuto who was serious while talking. “Tsum-Tsum will only hurt him.” Akaashi held his boyfriend’s hand and didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Why?” Meian asked because he and the rest of them were visibly confused.</p><p>“Even if Tsumu reciprocates his feelings I don’t think their relationship would work. They are both control freaks. I don’t know how it will work.” Osamu said.</p><p>“Tsumu-san isn’t like that Myaa-sam.” Hinata furrowed his eyebrow.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry Shoyo-Kun. Tsumu just doesn’t like people bossing him around, that's what I meant.” Osamu gave him a small smile.</p><p>Everyone went silent for a minute then started talking about random things and placed bets on Sakusa and Atsumu.</p><p> </p><p>Suna held Osamu close and kissed his forehead. “Babe, things won’t go the way you’re thinking,” Suna assured his beloved quietly so that no one heard them.</p><p>“Tarou, if he falls for him. He will change again and something like happened to him like when he was with Kita. I don’t think he will recover from that.” Osamu hugged Suna close.</p><p>“Don’t worry. We are here for him this time.” Suna was just trying to reassure him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Atsumu and Sakusa in the closet) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>They both sat in the closet silently before entering the closet. Meian whipped down the entire closet properly with the help of Barnes and Sakusa approved of the clean closet then only he entered. Sakusa was sitting on a stool whereas Atsumu was sitting on the floor with his head tilted above thinking about something. No one said anything. Sakusa because he didn’t know what to say and how to hold a conversation. Atsumu because he was just plain tired. It has only been one minute that they were in there and Atsumu broke the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“How are ya and Waka-Kun?” Sakusa looked at him confused and then realized that nickname the fake blonde used for Ushiwaka.</p><p>“There is nothing there between us important enough to mention.” Sakusa averted his eyes from Atsumu.</p><p>“Ohh... So ya confessed?” Atsumu enquired.</p><p>“No, Akaashi-Kun, and you made it clear he was waiting for that red-head.” Sakusa was looking anywhere but at the fake blonde.</p><p>“Oh.” Atsumu thinks what to say. “Ya knew it was bound to happen.” He receives a glare from Sakusa. “I know it doesn’t help with pain in the end.” Sakusa averted his eyes again and sighed.</p><p>After 3 minutes have passed Atsumu had a terrible idea in his head and somewhere he could hear his twin’s voice, <em> don’t ya dare it fucker </em>. But he chose to ignore it. “Hey, Omi.” Sakusa ignored him. “Omi-Kun!” Sakusa again ignored him. Atsumu started chanting “Omi! Omi! Omi!...” till Sakusa snapped at him.</p><p>“What?” Oh how annoyed Sakusa was right now, he was already planning the other's murder.</p><p>“I have a proposal. Ya don’t have to answer me right away. ‘Cause it’s ya I will give ya a week to answer and I will only ask ya 3 times throughout this week.” Atsumu had his fox-like grin on his face.</p><p>“What are you proposing?” Sakusa was looking at his watch and was just waiting when he could get out of the closet. He was asking himself why he agreed to play in the first place then he remembered that he was slightly tipsy.</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna hook up?” The moment those words left Atsumu’s lips everything went silent. Atsumu was not looking at Sakusa, he was looking up to the ceiling and avoiding eye contact. Sakusa on the other hand was completely shocked. He couldn’t imagine him and Atsumu being in a relationship, hell he couldn’t even imagine them being friends. The silence was deafening. Sakusa couldn’t determine what the other was thinking. It was hard to read Atsumu at that moment. He was calm and unbothered with the silence like he knew Sakusa would deny, so he didn’t bother to say anything. Sakusa was spiraling down in his thoughts. When six minutes had passed, Sakusa decided to answer.</p><p>“Okay.” Now it was Atsumu’s turn to be shocked. He opened and closed his mouth three times before smirking.</p><p>“Were ya waiting for me to ask that Omi?” He tried to faint an innocent look.</p><p>“No, Wakatoshi-Kun and I had to end it. It’s a better way to move on isn’t it?” Sakusa simply stated but internally he was SCREAMING.</p><p>“Yeah, right.” Atsumu chuckled, then his face changed completely, a serious expression. “No one. I repeat no one should know about this. I don’t want Samu and the rest of my group on my back regarding this.” </p><p>“Like I would like people to know about me being in any contact with you.” Sakusa scoffed. Atsumu was not even bothered by his words.</p><p>“Okay, but only when we are drinking,” Atsumu said and crossed his hands in front of his chest.</p><p>“Why?” Sakusa was eager to know why this condition.</p><p>“Ya can stay sober if ya want. I need to be drunk.” Sakusa nodded.</p><p>“On my terms.” Atsumu nodded.</p><p>“I won’t bottom for ya.” Sakusa scoffed at this.</p><p>“Why would I let you top me?” Sakusa was irritated.</p><p>“I’m sorry Omi-Kun. But this is one thing I won’t. It’s on yer terms but I won’t take it up to my ass.” Atsumu’s voice, his expression, and everything were dead serious while saying this.</p><p>“Mmm... Okay. If I don’t like this then it ends.” Sakusa says.</p><p>“Okay, no pressure. It’s not like I wanna do this only with ya.” Sakusa’s nose scrunched up after hearing it.</p><p>“Whatever, when?” Sakusa wanted this talk to end before going outside to the group.</p><p>“Next time when we drink,” Atsumu said and stood up.</p><p>“Okay.” Sakusa agreed and the door was opened by Bokuto.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Hey, Hey. they didn’t kill each other!” Bokuto shouted. Everyone sighed in relief and Atsumu started laughing.</p><p>“I don’t have the energy to kill tonight. Maybe next time.” Atsumu winked at Sakusa who visibly cringed after hearing that.</p><p>“Rin and I should leave.” Osamu stood up and said.</p><p>“Boke and I should also leave,” Kageyama said and picked Hinata up in bridal style.</p><p>“Keiji, baby you want to leave?” Bokuto asked and Akaashi nodded.</p><p>“I guess we should leave too,” Inunaki said and held Tomas to help him stand up</p><p>Everyone bid their farewell and the ones left were Meian, Barnes, Atsumu, and Sakusa.</p><p>“So. You sticking around for another beer?” Meian turned to Atsumu and Sakusa. Atsumu nodded and picked up his beer. He received a call and he went to answer it in the corner.</p><p>“No, I will be leaving.” Sakusa declared and stood up from his place.</p><p>“Wait. Sakusa-Kun, wait till we finish this beer. I don’t want Miya falling anywhere.” Meian said while looking at Atsumu who was drinking his beer and talking on the phone. Sakusa didn’t want to upset his Captain so he agreed.</p><p>Atsumu looked like he was arguing with someone, he was trying not to shout or anything. He sighed and ended the call and shut his phone off. By the time his call ended he finished his beer and turned around to see Sakusa waiting for him. Meian told him why Sakusa was waiting for him and he was shocked but bid goodbye to Barnes and Meian and went with Sakusa towards their floor.</p><p> </p><p>“So..” Atsumu started and looked at Sakusa who nodded his head telling him to continue. “The germ thing,” Atsumu said, not sure how to complete the sentence.</p><p>“I went to therapy during high school and college. I still don’t like to be touched but I manage to live by.” Sakusa said. “And sex is something I can’t ignore forever.” Atsumu nodded at the spikers’ explanation.</p><p>“It’ll be purely a sexual relationship. Nothing else.” Atsumu told him. He was once again not looking at Sakusa and Sakusa hummed in reply. “If anyone of us develops any kind of feeling for another, we talk about it and end this thing. It should not affect the team’s dynamic at any cost.” Sakusa hummed again.</p><p>They reached their floor and Sakusa was about to enter his room but Atsumu had one last question to ask him “Wanna start tonight?”</p><p>Sakusa looked at him and was thinking if he should do it or not tonight. “Just make out,” Sakusa said.</p><p>“Okay, lemme take a shower and I will come back real quick~” Atsumu sang and entered his room. </p><p> </p><p>Atsumu took 15mins in the shower and changed his clothes to something comfy. He brushed his teeth twice because he could still taste the alcohol in his mouth. He looked at the clock and realized he took 25 mins just to shower and get ready. He went out of his dorm and locked the door, he didn’t knock on the other door immediately because he wasn’t sure if he should do this or not. Sure yeah, he was the one who proposed the idea but he didn’t expect the ravenette to agree to it on the first attempt. He decided to go in because he can’t back out from something he started in the first place. He knocked on the door twice and waited till it opened. Sakusa opened the door after 10 seconds, he was wearing grey sweats and a full sleeve white t-shirt. Atsumu was wearing black sweats and a full sleeve black t-shirt. Atsumu entered the spiker’s dorm, it was his first time going into Sakusa’s personal space. Sakusa threw a bottle of sanitizer to Atsumu and it was the fake blondes favorite lemon scent (yes, he likes sanitizer, his mother is a doctor here), he smiled a little and applied the sanitizer. The ravenette looked at him closely to see if he was doing it correctly, he was surprised to see a small smile on the other's face and using the sanitizer methodically. After applying the sanitizer Atsumu changed into the slippers Sakusa left out for him and walked towards the living room. He did not sit anywhere but waited for Sakusa to tell him where to sit. The said person looked at the blonde then gestured to him to sit on the couch. </p><p> </p><p>“So.. We have ta talk about this first. I don’t want anyone to know and it shouldn’t affect our performance in the team.” Atsumu started while sitting on one end of the couch.</p><p>“I wouldn’t want either,” Sakusa said while sitting on the other end of the couch.</p><p>“I won’t bottom.” Atsumu reminded him.</p><p>“You told me that earlier. But I want to ask why?” Sakusa enquired. Atsumu expected this question but still felt his throat dry.</p><p>“I just won’t.” Sakusa quirked up and eyebrow in question but when he saw the blonde won’t tell him he sighed.</p><p>“Listen, I don’t like to bottom always. So you got to give me a reason, a proper one why you won’t.” Sakusa pressed the subject.</p><p>“Maybe one day. Any conditions, requests, or anything?” Atsumu asked. Sakusa sighed.</p><p>“Take a bath before coming over, wear clean clothes, do not touch me till I tell you.” Sakusa paused to see if there were any objections from the blonde, when he didn’t get any he continued. “No touching outside my dorm. We don’t need to associate outside these four walls.” Atsumu nodded. “I have a question.” Atsumu nodded again, gesturing to him to continue. “What happened to your blondie and how did you two end in a relationship like that? I thought he was your boyfriend.” Atsumu looked at him and started laughing at the nickname.</p><p>“Omi, I call him blondie, and to answer yer question he wanted a relationship and I can’t see myself falling in love with him.” Sakusa tilted his head to his right a little, a questioning look on his face. Atsumu continued “He is a good friend, an amazing one Omi. He never bottoms for anyone other than for the Karasuno captain’s Daichi ‘n Ennoshita. He kinda had a crush on both of them, but when we started he did that for me cause I told him I can’t do that. He knew me well so he agreed to it but he caught feelings so I had to stop that from hurting him any more than I would.” Sakusa nodded. </p><p>“So he caught feelings for you and you dropped him?” Sakusa inquired.</p><p>“I didn’t just drop him….” Sakusa narrowed his eyes at the fake blonde “Okay, yes I dropped him like that but I did tell him earlier that it would happen. I feel bad Omi. Trust me I do. But when I asked him he said he won’t stop lovin’ me an’ all. But I know how much Daichi-san and Chikara-kun love him. I can’t do that to them. He leaves them whenever I text him. That’s not right.” Atsumu rambled.</p><p>“So you are not a complete jerk but still a huge jerk,” Sakusa stated and Atsumu brought his hand in front of his heart and dramatically gasped.</p><p>“Ouch Omi. Ya think I’m heartless? I am so hurt Omi.” Sakusa rolled his eyes at him.</p><p>“You hurt him and reason with not wanting to hurt others.” Atsumu looks straight into his eyes, his expression something which cannot be explained.</p><p>“Omi, is there anything else?” Atsumu asks, giving the other a fake smile. Which the other doesn’t point out and Atsumu is grateful for that.</p><p>“For now, no. If there is something I want to add I will do that later as we go on.” Atsumu nodded then he remembered something.</p><p>“Omi I know it’s stupid to ask at this point but are ya okay with this? With ya being the bottom and  everything?” Sakusa looked at him and rolled his eyes again. Atsumu wondered if his eyes would get stuck at the back or not.</p><p>“If I didn’t I wouldn’t have agreed to it. I don’t say anything I don’t mean.” With that Atsumu released a breath he wasn’t sure he was holding in.</p><p>“Okay, how do ya wanna start?” Atsumu sits comfortably back on the couch.</p><p>“My terms. I do whatever I want, is that okay?” Sakusa asks. He can see the fake blonde’s surprise and panic. He is confused at the panic. <em>Why is Atsumu panicking?</em> He calms down after 3 seconds and Sakusa is impressed with how quickly the blonde changes in a matter of seconds.</p><p>“Do whatever ya want. But I have one more question for tonight!” Sakusa gives him a confused look. “Why did ya agree?” Sakusa’s brain was working so fast to give out an explanation. He didn’t know if he could trust Atsumu with the truth but he decided to tell him anyway.</p><p>“Wakatoshi-Kun wants our friendship to remain as it was before we started fooling around. To do that I have to distract my mind from thinking how good he was in bed. I was thinking about doing this for a while but with Sachiro Hirugami. He was a better option but since you offered I thought it will be better if someone close by is there.” Atsumu nodded, understanding what the other meant. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, now Omi. Do whatever ya want to do. I’m all here, waiting.” Atsumu said with a teasing grin on his face.</p><p>“Just shut up. The more you talk the less I want to do anything with you.” Sakusa grunted.</p><p>“I can feel the love here Omi~” Atsumu sang.</p><p>“Did you brush your teeth?” Sakusa narrowed his eyes at him.</p><p>“Yes, I brushed my teeth twice and took a 15min bath for my Omi~” Sakusa let out a displeased sound at the sound of the nickname. He moved himself to the middle of the couch, then close to Atsumu and pulled his t-shirt and yanked him up to meet their lips.</p><p> </p><p>The kiss was sloppy, wet, and full of lust. Atsumu didn’t move his hands from his thighs, he gripped his thighs hard enough to leave marks. Sakusa didn’t let go of his shirt; they went on like this for 10 minutes, occasionally parting away for air and going right back at kissing. Sakusa moved Atsumu’s hands from his thighs without touching the skin and sat on his lap. Atsumu placed his hands on the back of the couch to prevent touching the ravenette. Sakusa was impressed that the blonde didn’t even attempt to move his hands from the place he kept it. Now Sakusa wanted Atsumu to bottom for him to see to what extent the blonde would obey commands but he pushed those thoughts aside and kissed him. They were on this for another 10 minutes and Sakusa could feel the bulge from the fake blondes’ sweats. He was sitting on it and he didn’t notice when he started grinding on it. Atsumu pulled back from his lips, Sakusa involuntarily chasing it. Atsumu let out a small chuckled and shook his head. Then he starts speaking, his voice rough and husky.</p><p>“Omi I think we should stop here for tonight.” Sakusa’s face turned into a scowl and Atsumu held back from laughing too hard. “C’mon, we have tomorrow as well. We are drinking again.”</p><p>Sakusa agrees and gets off Atsumu’s lap. The blonde bids goodnight and goes to his dorm.</p><p> </p><p>Before going to bed only one thought was going around in both of the guy's heads <em>“What the hell am I doing?”</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. OsaSuna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Osamu finally lets out his pent up frustration towards Suna which causes Suna to have a panic attack. After saying everything he wants to say to Suna the grey-haired twin goes to his room and cries. Suna, on the other hand, has a panic attack thinking about the things Osamu told him, and before passing out he calls Atsumu. (Our boy Suna is terrified of Atsumu)</p><p>Atsumu wakes up from his sleep and hears Suna asking for help. He immediately calls his twin and asks him to check on Suna. Osamu agrees and checks on Suna and sees him passed out on the floor. He tries to wake him up in different ways.</p><p>Once Suna wakes up he starts apologizing to Osamu for everything he did but Osamu just acknowledges it and let's Suna sleep. After that, he goes to his own room and sleeps.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ayyyyiii. I love this ship so much I can't even express! There is angst in this and mention of panic attacks. I changed the tags. You can ignore or check it :P<br/>I am not sure when I can upload the next chapter but I will try to post next week &lt;3<br/>Thankyou for your support and patience &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Osamu and Suna came back from the MSBY dormitories and they were pretty drunk. Suna had a week off the next day so he drank a lot with Osamu. Both of them had a crush on each other but never said it out in the open. Osamu and Suna were not even talking to each other for the past 2 months since Osamu discovered that Suna was having friends with benefits type of relationship with Sakusa’s cousin Komori from the past 2 months. Osamu was devastated, he knew he had no right to be angry at them because Suna was never his to start with but he felt betrayed because they have been best friends since middle school and he did not expect Suna to hide this from him. Sure both of them have been in relationships with different people before but they always told each other everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have been acting as an actual couple in front of everyone because Suna let out in an interview that he was dating someone. The word spread like a wildfire and soon he was in a situation where he could not take that back. It happened a little over 6 months ago. Suna asked Osamu to be his fake date in front of people. According to everyone, they were dating and it took a hard time convincing Atsumu that they are not dating it’s just a play. He was not convinced, this dragged on for a month before Suna snapped and told Atsumu that he was hooking up with Komori and he doesn’t have any feelings for the grey twin. Since then they are not talking to each other. Atsumu doesn’t talk to Suna much because even though the twins fight they love each other a lot and the only reason Atsumu hasn’t tried to kill Suna is because of Osamu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride back to their shared apartment was quiet. None of them said a word after their interaction in the dorm. Even though they didn’t talk to each other they would stay by each other's side whenever the other needed the support. This was an unspoken rule. Osamu exited the cab and made his way to the apartment, when he entered he went to the kitchen to drink some water. Suna watched him carefully. Before leaving the dorms Atsumu and Suna talked. Even though Atsumu said he won’t interfere between whatever his twin and Suna had he was upset looking at them silently fighting with each other. Atsumu had told Suna to break it off in front of the media and their house. Osamu can buy another apartment with Atsumu and he will shift after 6 months but he can’t see his twin and one of his best friends in this ugly state. Atsumu promised Suna that he would kill him if Suna didn’t resolve this issue soon. Because honestly, this was just too much and Atsumu is scary when he is angry. Osamu started walking towards his room and Suna knew they wouldn't be talking if Osamu shut his door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Osamu?” Suna started, Osamu stopped his tracks but didn’t bother to turn and look at Suna.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” His tone was so cold and detached and Suna wondered if Osamu hated him or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we talk?” Suna asked and Osamu looked at him and shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, what is it?” Osamu asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh… Can we sit down and talk?” Suna wanted all the time in the world before actually asking and talking about things between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, let’s change first then we can talk. The store is closed tomorrow so I have time.” Osamu said and walked inside his room. When the door shut with a click Suna let out a shaky breath which he didn’t realize he was holding in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suna went into his room and took a shower and changed his clothes quickly and went out in the living room and was waiting for Osamu to come out. He looked at the clock and he knew he only took 15 mins to shower and change but Osamu was still not out of his room and it was honestly getting him worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Meanwhile in Osamu’s room)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Osamu was panicking, he was scared about talking to Suna. Even though the middle blocker hasn't said things directly to Osamu, he heard them when Suna shouted at Atsumu. He was hurt and couldn’t bring himself to talk to Suna after that. He was pacing back and forth in his room. He took a really hot shower and he couldn’t calm himself down so he pulled out every clothing from his closet and scattered throughout the room. He threw his papers from his desk all around the room. If Atsumu has to clean when he is stressed then Osamu needs to make a mess. Atsumu never said anything when Osamu made a mess because he knew the moment he would calm down he would be extremely sad and to distract himself he would clean. It was odd that the twins have these kinds of habits. They found this thing weird about themselves but never let people know about it. Suna was the one person who knew about both of their habits. Atsumu’s group got to know about it during one of his meltdowns. The same happened with Osamu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After messing up his room he went out in the living room and saw Suna sitting on the couch and scrolling through his phone. Osamu went to make two cups of chamomile tea because he was sure they would need it. When he reached the kitchen at that time Suna realized Osamu was out of the room. He immediately stood up but Osamu signaled him to sit down so that he could do what he wanted first. Osamu calmed himself down again when the tea was ready and went to sit at the couch with Suna. He gave a cup of tea to Suna and sat at the opposite end of the couch. Suna gave a small ‘thank you’ and held the cup in both of his hands. He was nervous as heck and was finding a way to start the conversation without actually starting the inevitable argument right away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Osamu, I wanted to talk to you about us.” Suna started. Osamu looked up from his cup of tea and looked at Suna. He let out a tired sigh and decided to take matters in his hand rather than letting Suna say whatever the hell he wanted to say because he knew it would just break his heart more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen Suna.” When Osamu didn’t use his nickname ‘Sunarin’ or ‘Rin’ he knew he was screwed. “I don’t want to hear whatever ya plan to say. At least not till I say what I want to. You understand this?” Osamu's voice was commanding, Suna felt intimidated a bit because he knew Osamu had a bad temper but that was never towards him. It was either towards his twin or their mother. Suna audibly gulped and nodded. That is the only thing he could do after seeing Osamu like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want whatever we have to continue. You can say to the press that we broke up mutually. I can’t and I will not continue a relationship like this with ya. I’m tired, tired as fuck. Ya don’t know so I think it’s time I said this myself. I like ya Suna Rintarou, heck I love ya. But I can’t do this to myself. I am always telling Tsumu to look after him first and forget about everyone else for a moment and look after what he wants rather than what the other person wants. To put himself first, but what am I doing? Trying to keep my best friends’ image in front of the world ignoring my feelings, ignoring myself. I love ya so much that it fucking hurts. Ya go for games and everything and ya go get laid with Sakusa’s cousin Komori whenever ya want. What do I do Suna? Huh? Ya don’t think I have fucking needs? Do I sleep around with the tag of yer ‘boyfriend’? No, because I know even if this a fake relationship I know how to honor our relationship and friendship. Ya didn’t want to be with me then ya could have said Komori’s name. Anyway, ya are sticking yer dick up his ass, right? Fucking stop thinking as if playing with someone else’s feelings is okay. Everyone knew that I had feelings for you. Even Komori knew I had feelings for you. Who am I to say anything about Komori when I don’t have a fucking position in yer life? Do ya even consider me as yer best friend anymore? I am not a fucking doll that ya show off to the world that ‘yes, see I have him to play with when I am bored’ that is not what I am. Ya told Tsumu that ya don’t have feelings fer me that’s why ya started hooking up with Komori. So why didn’t ya just end this month ago huh? Was it fun torturing me? I'm done with this shit. I can’t even look at ya properly. I feel disgusted that ya held and kissed me back when we were at the dorms. I fucking hate being used like this. I felt devastated when I knew about ya and Komori. I felt betrayal, not because of this fake relationship because you are my BEST FRIEND and ya don’t even felt comfortable telling me about this. The looks Sakusa was giving me was the look of pity. THE SAKUSA KIYOOMI who hates pity and never pities someone gave me a look of pity. Do ya even know how humiliating is that? I was the one to feel bad for him for whatever happened between him and Ushiwaka but here I am, being a pathetic loser, crying in front of ya, and confessing my goddamn feelings. I will move out by the end of this month but please I don’t want to talk ta ya or even see yer face. Tsumu and I already plan to get an apartment when he moves outta the dorms in 6 months. I will just start soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that Osamu got up from the couch and went towards his room crying, he didn’t even bother to wipe his tears. He just let them flow because that’s what he did all these 6 months. Cried himself to sleep all these times knowing Suna will never be his willingly. He wished that they were in a real relationship. But alas, fate had a twisted way of playing with lives. Osamu slammed his door shut and curled up like a ball in the corner of his bed and cried so loudly he didn’t even care if Suna heard it or not. He was tired and he just wanted the hurt to stop, nothing else. He knew once Atsumu knows about tonight then there is nothing stopping the fake blonde twin to kill the fox eyed boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna was stunned, frozen, he didn’t think Osamu had so much to say. Everything was making sense to him, he realized how much oblivious he was towards the grey-haired twin. He never realized that he was hurting Osamu so much that the twin started to hate him. Osamu told him not to speak or to even show him his face. Suna couldn’t even stand up and go after Osamu, he didn’t get to speak tonight. He wanted to tell Osamu what he wanted from this fake relationship and what is the truth behind Komori and his relationship and how he wanted things to work out. He didn’t know what to do, thousands of thoughts traveled in his mind and the one thought which sent shivers down his spine was Atsumu Miya. No matter how big of an asshole Atsumu is he will not tolerate his brother being sad. He got into a fight in high school with one of Suna’s classmates because he started a nasty rumor about Osamu. Atsumu asked Suna to bring his classmate to the secluded park one evening and almost everyone from Suna’s class was there. Atsumu mercilessly started beating that guy up for one and a half hours straight and conveyed the message to the entire school that no one messes with the Miya Twins. Osamu did the same for Atsumu when Kita was forcing Atsumu in their relationship. Osamu lost his cool and almost killed Kita out of anger. Suna was so scared that he curled up like a ball on the couch in the middle of their apartment. He started panicking thinking about how Osamu hates him now and doesn’t want to see or talk to him, how angry Atsumu would be and how once Osamu once moves out the twin will always avoid and never even talk to him. He couldn’t stop himself from spiraling down in his thoughts, he was having a panic attack and no one was there for him, no one would help him out of it. Osamu won’t even bother to come out of his room to help him. How helpless and pathetic he was to push away the one person who has always been there for him and never made him feel like he was not worth it. He couldn’t even understand why he decided to fuck up all these years' friendship. His breathing started being uneven, he couldn't breathe properly. His vision was dizzy, he couldn’t see properly or hear anything. He reached out to grab his phone to call someone or anyone so that he got out of this feeling of dying. He dialed the first number he saw. He couldn’t see properly, he just wanted someone to help him through this. The call connected and he couldn’t hear the other person he just stammered out a little ‘help’ and he blacked out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu was the one who received the call from Suna. He was scared as fuck after hearing Suna. he tried to call out Suna’s name but the other didn’t respond. He was sleeping at his dorm after his makeout session with Sakusa and he was still pretty dizzy with the alcohol. He looked at the time and it was around 1:30 AM, he decided to call his twin praying that he wakes up and goes to Suna. He felt as if something was going on but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. He didn't want his friend to die if he was in a dangerous situation. He was already wearing his sweatpants and sandals while calling Osamu. He called him 4 times and his brother didn’t pick up. He was getting anxious and just before he reached his genkan Osamu picked up the call, his voice husky as if he was crying all this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"My god Samu, pick up the call on time will ya?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What do ya want Sumu?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Wait! Are ya crying? Are ya alright?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What do ya want Sumu?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sunarin called me, he said help and he didn’t say anything. Where is he? Samu?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"WHAT? When did he call?" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Just now, what is happening Samu?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I’m going to check on him."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I’m coming ta yer place."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"No! Come in the morning. Go and sleep. I will call ya. Goodnight."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"SAMU LIST-"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu cursed under his breath and decided to go out for a walk in his apartment complex itself. He knew he couldn’t sleep now after being pulled into whatever this was happening between his brother and Suna.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Osamu frantically stood up from his bed and went to his living room. He saw Suna curled up like a ball and passed out in the space between the couch and table. Osamu quickly pulled Suna up from the floor and rushed towards Suna’s room. He bought water from the kitchen and tried to wake up Suna. When he failed to wake Suna up by calling out his name and shaking him up, he splashed water on his face. That made Suna wake up but he was still panicking. Osamu quickly wrapped his hands around Suna and held him tightly so that Suna knew he was there. Even though Osamu is upset, he cared about Suna a lot, he still loves him and he still doesn’t want to talk to him but he knows at this moment Suna needs him so he will be there till Suna is calmed down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna was blabbering ‘sorry’ and how it is ‘his fault’ and he was crying a lot. Osamu just held him and let his tears drop, he didn’t say anything. He was just waiting for Suna to go to sleep so that he could go back to his room and cry more or call his twin because he was sure the blonde was still awake. Suna held Osamu as his life depended on it, well yeah his life was depending on it but he knew if Osamu wants he will move out tomorrow morning itself. Suna calmed down a little but immediately held Osamu’s face and tried to kiss him but Osamu pushed him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Samu please listen to me. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you but I did it anyway. Yes, I was in a sexual relationship with Motoya but all that started when I was drunk one night and you went back to Hyogo to meet your mom, and Motoya and I were talking and he told me about his crush on his senpai and I told him about mine. I have liked you always, I love you Samu please believe me. I will do anything to make it up to you but please don’t leave me. Please, I beg you, please don’t leave me. I will change, I won’t do anything that you don’t like. I won’t talk to Komori ever again apart from during practice and games. Please don’t leave me. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Tell me what I have to do? Don’t hate me. These past 2 months were a nightmare for me, not talking to you only talking when we are in front of people. I was dying inside because all this happened because of my stupidity. I said that to Atsumu because I panicked, I thought you don’t love me and you are still stuck on your ex. I saw you meeting her and talking to her regularly so I thought you didn’t want me and my feelings were one-sided and I panicked Samu. I should have talked to you instead than assuming things. Please say something Miya. Please Osamu. I’m sorry. I love you a lot it hurts” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna sat there and held Osamu again and cried again and again. This time it was Osamu’s turn to be stunned. He tried to process everything Suna said and he understood every word but he was still hurt. Still in a lot of pain because of Suna’s actions. He let out a tired sigh and stroked Suna’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suna, we both are idiots but that doesn’t mean what you did was right. I am hurt. I need time and being with you right now is the last thing I want. We can maybe try us in the future but not right now. I just can’t. It’s too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna cried harder after hearing Osamu’s words but he knew something like this would happen. He just nodded and slept holding Osamu because of exhaustion. Osamu let out a sigh again and tried to stand up to go back to his room but Suna’s hand was still wrapped around his torso, he removed Suna’s hands and placed a plushie near Suna. He couldn’t help himself and placed a kiss on the sleeping boy’s forehead and went back to his room. He didn’t cry tonight but he wasn’t happy about this either. He sent a message to his twin saying “Everything is okay. Go to sleep” and he immediately got a reply saying “I wanna meet ya tomorrow. IDC. Night.” He knew he would have to meet his twin because he is also a stubborn prick so with that thought he went to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, Hi. Umm. So this is my 3AM attempt to write something and. I am not sure where I am going with this story but I started it and hopefully will complete it in a few chapters or maybe long. <br/>I'll be updating every week :) </p><p>~Joe</p></blockquote></div></div>
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